Self-love checklist

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In continuing our season of self-love, I want to give you an insight into my own self-love and self-care activities so I’ve created this video to be a checklist of the first three things I do in my own self-love and self-care routine. The rest of the list will be available as a download later on.

1. Know Thy Self

The first thing that I want you to know and what I do in my own checklist is to understand that I am more than my thoughts. I understand that our self-esteem and self-confidence are just about the thinking we believe to be true about ourselves. And so you could think you’re a good person or a bad person, fat or thin person — whatever those thoughts are it’s just you believing those thoughts to be true about yourself.

But when I’m talking about knowing ourselves, knowing our true nature, it’s understanding that we have a spiritual essence, an energy life-force that is our true nature that’s within each and every one of us. And if we attributed emotions to that it would be love and compassion. And so it’s understanding we are far more than our thoughts. It’s what’s beneath this skin; it is what’s within us that’s truly amazing and phenomenal about every human being and that is at the heart of each and every human experience that we create.

2. Be In The Moment

Now the second point of self-love on my checklist is understanding that all that ever is, is now and being in this moment. So if we understand if we’ve got feelings of anxiety, we’re creating a future which may never even happen, it hasn’t even happened, it may never happen. Or if we’re worried about things, we’re projecting from the past an experience that we’ve had into our future which again may never happen because in this moment right here and right now, we’ve never experienced it before. So fear can’t live and anxiety can’t reside.

Now the thing that I do to bring myself from thoughts of the past or the future, is to talk to myself: “Janet, just come back. Just be here now, Janet. Just be in this moment, Janet.” Those few words bring me back to this present moment, right here and right now. And so the feelings of anxiety and fear lessen and they have to collapse leaving me with greater clarity in order to deal with the current situation.

3. Accept Yourself

The third point on my checklist for self-love is acceptance. Just accepting myself for who and what I truly am. Now this may seem counter-intuitive to the first point, however, there are some thoughts that just so sticky, that just feel so true and so real and no matter how you reframe or say something different, they just seem to stick and you believe them to be true. Know that you’re only ever doing the best that you can with what you have. And so, rather than fighting those thoughts and trying to get rid of them (because you’re only fighting yourself), it’s better to accept that right here and right now, I’m doing the best I can. Right now is all that I’ve got and the decisions I make from this place is based upon the decisions I believe to be true, the thoughts I believe to be true and this is the best that I’ve got, right here and right now.

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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Learning To Love Yourself Deeply

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During this season of self-love, I want to talk about how you fall deeply in love with yourself.

Isn’t it crazy that in this day and age that we have to tell ourselves to love ourselves?

Think about the things that we say and do to ourselves. We can call ourselves names like fat, ugly, or horrible. Things that we would never say out loud to anyone else. We push ourselves to physical points of exhaustion for obligation for family, for friends, the job or just appearances. We stay in relationships that do not serve us because of some belief that we’ve held one to. Is that how to love yourself?

That’s why we need to be reminded to care for ourselves; to love ourselves deeply.

How To Love Yourself

When I’m talking about loving yourself deeply, how would you know if you actually do love yourself? A reference point could be how you love somebody else: a beloved person in your life who you truly love. When you love someone, what do you do?

You start off by buying nice things for other people. To become move loving to ourselves, we can buy nice things for ourselves. We can have a manicure or pedicure. Buy a nice coat or a pair of shoes. Go to the movies, go for meals. Whatever it is that we love, we can buy or do these things for ourselves because that’s what we do for other people. Love yourself by engaging in these self-love activities.

The Importance of Self-Love

We all know that true love starts from within. It’s the feelings that we have for ourselves and for others. Imagine the feeling that you have for somebody that you truly love. Do you actually experience those same feelings yourself?

Yes?

No?

Could it be that the thoughts that you have for your beloved are beautiful, positive, wonderful thoughts and the thoughts that you have for yourself are judgmental, negative and berating? Do you even see yourself as beloved?

Our thinking creates our feeling. If we’ve got negative thoughts about ourselves, it’s hardly surprising that we feel bad about ourselves.

The other thing that we do with our beloved is acceptance. You accept your beloved for who and what they truly are. Are you accepting yourself without judgment? Because that’s where that beautiful feeling of loving yourself first can come from. Instead of looking at all the stuff you should have done, Look at the true nature of your heart, your true self. That part of you which gives love so freely to others is just waiting for you to experience that love for yourself.

How To Love Yourself Unconditionally

How do you overcome this and love yourself first? Once you know and understand that your thinking and your thoughts about yourself are not true—that they’re based upon memories, other people’s opinions and perceptions about you that you’ve made true about yourself—then the love you have for yourself starts to change. You stop placing conditions on yourself and start to love yourself unconditionally. You accept yourself and start to realise the mistakes you made in the past were the best that you could do at the time with the thinking you believed to be true. Accept the mistakes and also accept the beautiful loving nature within you that wants you to experience that love that you freely give to others for yourself.

In understanding and knowing what true love for yourself is, how you then treat yourself will change.

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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The Season of Self-Love

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What I want to talk about this month is love and how you love yourself. The definition of self-love feels like it’s evolved in the past couple of years. I suppose these are things that we always used to do but now we’ve got a term for it; it’s called self-love and it’s about caring about ourselves.

What Does Self-Love Mean To You?

But what does self-love mean to you? For some, practicing self-love is about taking time out, going for walks or doing things. As women, we do so much. There are so many different roles that we’re playing all of the time (mother, wife, girlfriend, business owner…) that we forget about ourselves. We put others first, and that’s when we start feeling burnt out or worn down, and then we have depression, anxiety, and all of these different things.

My personal definition of self-love is quite simple: loving ourselves. This is a deeper self, it’s our true spiritual self. But even beyond that, it’s recognising who and what we truly are. I’m talking about our own selves, our own self-esteem, our own self-image. We have to remember the self we’re talking about is us. The self we’re talking about is a result of the thoughts, the experiences, and the decisions that we’ve made in the past. The things that we like and the things that we don’t like have culminated in creating the person you are at this moment.

How To Learn To Love Yourself

A lot of times we want to change the self that we have created because we don’t like it. Yet if we take that moment to realise and recognise that everything that you’ve been through all of the thoughts, all of the decisions that you’ve made. Some of them have just resonated with you so deeply that they have contributed to the person that you are right now.

And so self-love is to love this creation. Learning to love yourself is to love and accept who and what you truly are, right here and right now in this moment. Because when you can accept who you are, this culmination of all of the thoughts that you’ve held onto, that you’ve attached emotions to, become real to you. These are the things that have created who you are right here right now and it’s not someone to run away from but to embrace and to accept and to acknowledge and to love.

All of these things are love and accepting who and what we truly are right here and right now in this moment.

When I’m talking about self-love, I’m not telling you to ignore self-care. Have the hot bath. Take your time out. Go for a walk. But all the time remember to accept and acknowledge and embrace who you are.

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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