Navigating New Beginnings: Can Relationships After Divorce Truly Flourish?

Do you remember when you were going through a divorce and you may have thought…” I’m never going to be in a relationship again…That is it! Well, that may have been 6, 12, 18 months or two years ago. Now, you are actually thinking you may want to be in a relationship again. But are you ready?

I remember during the period of separation from my husband I remember feeling I wanted to have some fun, nothing serious just something light and easy. So I went on dating sites and even told friends I was on the lookout for something light and easy. Sure enough, a male volunteered to fulfil that role. Initially it felt like fun, no ties, however I soon recognised that I was not the free and easy type because I wanted to spend time and go on day trips…coupley stuff and he had not signed up for that.

I have since gone on to have a beautiful relationship at a time and space which was great for me. But I will tell you about that in another blog post.

Like anything in life, there are ups and downs on the journey towards where we want to get to, and it is the journey that continues to shape us on the way. When life feels like an uphill hike, always remember that the view from the top is undeniably worth it. Just like our journey on the mountain trail, the road to finding love and healing post-divorce can be rocky, uncertain, and at times, overwhelming. Yet, the hope of conquering the peak becomes the anchor that holds hope for a new beginning, a thriving relationship after divorce that can stand the test of time.

 

The Hiking Trail of Emotions - Weathering the Storm

I know it has been a difficult time, even if you had initiated the divorce, there have been challenges along the way and now as you emerge from the dense fog which may have been your divorce and the feelings associated with grief; sadness, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, your thoughts turn towards dating and being in a relationship again. But how do you know if you are ready and if it will be a successful relationship? Well I’m here to tell you relationships after divorce do work in many ways!



A View From the Top: Research Insights

Divorce often brings a mix of tumultuous emotions and the task of rebuilding a life once intertwined with another’s. However, it’s not merely a process of picking up the pieces; it is an opportunity for personal growth and finding deeper, more fulfilling connections. Research in the realm of post-divorce relationships sheds light on some surprisingly optimistic data.

Insights from Research

Research paints an inspiring picture, one that may not align with the grim expectations society often has about life post-divorce. For instance, statistics reveal that those who remarry often experience lower levels of anxiety and depression compared to their single or continually married counterparts. This suggests that stepping back into the world of commitment can be a source of profound emotional stability and happiness.

But here’s an even more compelling nugget of information: more than 67% of second marriages outlast the average span of first marriages. Incredible, isn’t it? This figure can be a beacon of hope for anyone fearing that love after divorce might just be a fleeting chapter. Instead, it seems that with lessons learned and resilience built, second marriages hold immense potential for longevity and fulfillment.

A Personal Reflection

As we delve into these heartening statistics, I can’t help but reflect on my personal journey through the post-divorce landscape. When I felt ready to be in a relationship again, I noticed a profound change in my approach. There was a calm and centeredness within me—an equilibrium I hadn’t known in my earlier years.

Unlike before, I entered the relationship without a spreadsheet of expectations. I found joy in the simplicity of the connection—spending time with someone whose company I genuinely enjoyed, without the heavy curtain of ‘forever’ hanging in between our conversations. It was liberating. I was anchored in the present, appreciating the relationship for what it was—an exploration with a beautiful soul.

This mindset came from an inner assurance that was new to me. The knowledge that whatever happened, I would be okay, not because of external affirmation but because I was content being by myself. Entering into the relationship, I was whole, and I carried the conviction that I would remain whole, irrespective of the outcome.

 

 

Overcoming Obstacles on the Path

To reach the peak that awaits you, navigating this new trail with self-discovery, healing, and effective communication is crucial. It’s imperative to lace your hiking boots tight, adjust your pace, comprehend the terrain, and pick the right gear for the journey.

Finding Your True North: Self-Discovery

Self-discovery is an essential tool in your backpack, much like a well-thought-out map. It’s about taking the time to understand who you are, what you’ve learned from your past, and what you truly desire from a partner in the future.

How can you embark on this journey of self-exploration?

  1. Seek solitude: Give yourself the gift of alone time. Reflect on your past and journey thus far, and acknowledge the lessons learned along the way.
  2. Embrace growth: It may feel challenging at times, and you may want to avoid the feelings of pain, but know you are growing, becoming the new version of yourself for this time.
  3. Identify core values: Reflect on what truly holds importance in your life, and let these values guide your decision-making in future relationships.

Quench your curiosity, investigate new experiences and ideas, and embrace personal growth – just like the excitement of hiking new territories. 

 

Understanding your experience.

When going through the experience of being ready to be in a relationship again your self awareness will also allow you to gain an insight into how you are creating your experience moment by moment. In understanding where your feelings are coming from in the moment, from the thinking you believe to be true, you are better able to begin the process of understanding your feelings, acknowledging their origin, and letting them soar free. It’s the act of unclasping the tightly fastened heavy backpack, leaving behind past burdens, and lightening the load to make hiking a far more enjoyable, empowering experience.

The Guiding Light – Effective Communication

Effective communication is the North Star, the unwavering beacon of guidance for your hike. Engaging in open, authentic conversations can greatly reduce misunderstandings, create a platform for trust, and a strong foundation for a thriving relationship.

How can you hone your communication skills for the ascent?

  1. Cultivate empathy: Step into your partner’s shoes and try to understand their emotions, experiences, and challenges.
  2. Listen deeply: Give your partner undivided attention when they speak, listen with nothing on your mind but to listen, and only then ask questions for better understanding.
  3. Express yourself openly: Discuss your thoughts, feelings, and needs honestly, and without fear of judgement.

Remember, a solid compass does more than point north; it steers you towards a journey that’s fulfilling and deeply connected.



Timing Matters on the Trail

When should you take that first step towards a new relationship? Embrace the truth that each journey is unmatched and beautiful in its way. Your wisdom and intuition will guide you. Yep I know it may sound a bit woo! Woo! But it is true. There are times when you can sense, hear or feel your wisdom. The feeling in the pit of your stomach before you do something, a phrase or sentence comes to mind when you were not even thinking about that particular thing. All of these and more is your wisdom wanting to communicate with you. It is whether you are will ing to listen and follow that guidance. This is why self discovery is the most important and crucial step.

Success Stories: Peaks That Inspire

So, what does a successful relationship after divorce look like? I had alluded to the fact that I had begun dating a unique and wonderful man. This happened approximately two years after my separation and six months after the finalisation of my divorce. During those two years, I had completed a lot of work on rediscovering myself, been on a number of dates enjoying the dating scene, and also found out what I was actually attracted to. As a result of being in a space of playfulness, calmness, and no expectations, I met a wonderful man with whom I was to spend the next six years. 

More recently, that relationship ended; however, I see it as a successful relationship because of how I have grown and rediscovered more of myself whilst in a relationship. That means this relationship allows me to develop Unconditional Love for my partner and for myself, which was something that had been missing in previous relationships of

And that is what I alluded to when stating relationships can be successful for a number of different reasons. 





Seize the Hour: Moving Forward

With newfound courage in your grasp, know that life after divorce is not about merely surviving but embracing the possibility of flourishing, growing and understanding yourself so you can love again and be in a new relationship and a new and improved version of yourself.

Do you want to learn more about relationships and love after divorce/end of a relationship Join our Free Webinar: “Embracing New Beginnings – Building Healthy Relationships After Divorce”. Discover more insights and practical tips, and join our uplifting community of hikers—one step at a time.

Email me for details of how to join the webinar and journey into the vibrant realm of fulfilling connections. As a trusted friend and fellow hiker, I’ll walk with you as we traverse the path less trodden and capture the untold beauty of life.

What are we waiting for, dear friend? Let’s take that first step together.

 

 

 

MY NAME IS..

Janet Rhynie

I believe my purpose and passion is to educate, equip and empower you to live the life you know you were meant to live.

Discover more about me and how we can work together here.