How realistic is self image?.

posted in: Every day wisdom | 0

Humans are perfect in their imperfection!

There is no such thing as a perfect human being. We have our thought created reality, we make mistakes, and things don’t turn out the way we want. However, when we start to compare our self-image to one we think is perfect, this can directly impact our self-worth and self-image.

I remember being 16 and wanting to be like the popular girls in school. They were tall, slim with long flowing hair. As one of a handful of black girls in the school, this was going to be impossible. However it did not stop me from wanting to look like them, and be like them. This led to a period of restrictive eating and over doing exercise in a bid to look as slim as them. Also having a perm on my head to give a softer look to my afro hair. With few black role models in the media, my peers were my role models and what they said or thought about me felt very important and as such shaped how I saw myself and had a direct impact on the decisions I made and the actions I took.

The trouble is we’ve been conditioned to base our self-image on what others think of us to be. So the clothes we wear, our social circle, job even the hobbies we have could be contributing factors to that self-image. Very much based upon what others see.

What if we based our self-image and self-worth on our authenticity and how we treat others and take care of others? Just a thought!!!

What is self-image?

In previous videos, we have spoken in-depth about what is self-image and what is self-esteem but a brief overview is;

self-image is how you see yourself, describe yourself to somebody else, and self-esteem is how you think about yourself, positively or negatively.

How is our self-image developed? 

Self-image can be based upon our physical attributes; eye colour, weight. The social roles we play, student, wife,member of the team can also be contributing factors. Even personal traits, impulsive and generous can be added to the image created.

As time passes, some people become more reliant upon others to define us. This is not a conscious choice in many cases, but we infer from what a person says. For example, if we receive a compliment about a particular outfit, this may influence how you dress to get more compliments.

But how realistic is self-image?

In a previous blog called The Matrix, the thinking we believe to be true creates self-image. So the example of someone paying a compliment may be internalised and directly impacts how a person dresses. If that person continues to believe what others say, your image becomes determined by others. Therefore it can be as changeable with the seasons.

Or if we return to my 16-year-old self, what I saw in others and what others said to me determined what I wore and how I acted. Now others could have been friends or the media, the sources could have been numerous. But as the name indicates, ’image’, is a picture, a representation of the external form of a person or thing in art. The representation is not the whole picture.

Your identity.

This is what is beneath the image. Unlike the image, which is seen on the outside, identity is who you truly are. Not what you believe yourself to be, but more profound than that; your true essence. This essence is spiritual, formless, never changing. Some call it your soul. 

Some of the attributes associated with true identity are love and compassion.

If your soul determined your self-image, then your image would not be superficial or transient, changing with the latest trend. Instead, your image would be a reflection of who you truly are, the love you are..


Therefore, in conclusion, your image is just a representation, but is it a representation of the opinions of others or is it a reflection of your soul?

Do you want to begin to rediscover your true identity? Click the link below.


Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.


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