Six Tips to Survive the First Year After Divorce

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Making it through the very first year of divorce is hard. After the initial shock and grieving for your former life, many people are left feeling lost. You might begin feeling like you have been deserted or neglected by every person close to you.

Below are seven pointers for making it through the very first year after separation:

Don’t Rush

It may feel hard to stop a rush, and it can feel like there is no turning back once it starts. The moment’s pressure consumes you, and all other considerations fly out the window. A way to stop the rush is to take deep breaths, which creates a moment of calm, giving you time for self-reflection.

Remember to Take Care of Yourself

It’s easy for mayhem to reign in your new life, and you may neglect to care for yourself and your health. These are essential things to remember, even if you feel like you don’t have time or are too busy.

Making time for what you want and need is essential for happiness and self-care. When was the last time you did something for yourself? It doesn’t have to be anything significant! Maybe it’s taking a walk, getting a manicure, or having lunch with a friend. We all require pointers from time to time that we’re worth it!

The Unknown

When you’re getting a divorce, it can feel like the sky is falling. You may be feeling lost and scared, wondering what will happen next. It can be hard to make decisions or think about the future because many unknowns exist. The only way someone could have a clear idea of what they are going for is by knowing themselves and their aspirations well enough. To do this, one must take time out in life to explore who one is as an individual.

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Be patient – With Yourself!

It’s never simple to go through a divorce. You may have been with your spouse for decades, and now you’re alone and struggling. It’s so easy to feel like you’ve been abandoned or forgotten about by everyone close to you. But know that this is a normal feeling in the first year of divorce.

Start by taking one small step. And then another, and another. Ultimately, you will get to where you desire because, with each action, your confidence grows in yourself and the steps taken so far. The more patience a person has with themselves, the easier it is for them to continue on their journey of personal development and growth while being mindful of what they need along the way – which may consist of rest or time off from a particular task.

Face Your Fears

Divorce can be a challenging transition. You may experience a lot of fear and sadness, which often lead to avoidance behaviours. You may feel like you do nothing all day but cry or stare at the wall, yet it’s vital to keep in mind some individuals care about you. The only way to overcome fear is through gaining knowledge and understanding. The more you know about something, the less scary it becomes for you. This movement encourages people to explore their fears to conquer them – face your fears head-on!

Learn to Love Again

Learning how to love again is vital. After the divorce, it can be hard to find your groove, and you might start feeling lonely or depressed. But there’s also something called post-divorce recovery – where you learn how to love again after your life has changed so drastically with this event happening in it – which can take months, if not years, before everything feels right again.

It may not be easy, and you will never forget what feels like the world’s end. Still, you can do this with time, patience and an understanding that getting your happiness again means taking charge in life without abandoning yourself or those around you to get through these challenging stages.

Spirit versus ego can seem to think both of these aspects of our human self are at odds with each other. However, when we understand the roles each plays within our life we understand they work together helping us as humans to navigate this world.

Are you thriving or surviving? Click here to schedule an alignment session where you can find out more.

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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No Fault Divorce

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Having gone through a divorce, you know that the process can be emotionally draining and challenging. The current system requires one of you to accuse the other of something to legally separate, which can make an already demanding time even harder.

However, today April 6 2022, in the UK, No-Fault Divorce is introduced. The first in 50 years, this pivotal change could allow couples to split up without resorting to this blame game. Suppose a couple can mutually agree on their separation. In that case, they can do so without having to point fingers and play the “blame game.

You may feel exhausted and hopeless while going through a divorce. You might feel guilty, frustrated, or despair, when you feel like no progress is being made. This is normal – this is to be expected – because it’s more than “normal” as there are healthy ways you can cope with your emotions during this challenging period.

To get through this process, however,  remember these three tips:

1. Don’t permit yourself to feel bad all the time.

Okay, this might seem like a contradiction. The point is that you need to feel your feelings and experience the emotions you are feeling. One of my mentors, Elise Spittle, said there is healing in the feeling. Remember,  you’re more than your current situation, feelings, and experience. That which is within you; your essence is programmed to experience love, joy and compassion. When you are not focussed on your situation, your true nature allows you to experience these feelings, however fleeting.

2. You should try to be kind to your ex—

Controversial, I know, but it is true. You are both going through a difficult situation. You have your own hurts and versions of your relationship, which have brought you to this point of divorce. 

As stated above, when I was not focused on the divorce and blaming my ex- for the current situation, there were moments when I could appreciate his position too.

This is not the case in every instance; however, be open to the fact that there may be moments you could feel compassion for your ex-. Right now, they probably don’t deserve any additional pain or grief on top of what they’re already going through because of the divorce itself. After all, compassion is one of the virtues of your true nature.

3. You will get through this!

Your life may feel like a series of one never-ending, painful stage after another—you’re probably in the middle of it now. Maybe you don’t even remember what it’s like to live without this.

But as much as it doesn’t feel like it, you WILL get through this. I know it hurts right this moment, and that’s okay. There are brighter days ahead —it might not be super bright yet, but it is there. And once you get there, you’ll be able to figure out how to put your life back together again. You’ve made it through much bigger things than this before—and you’ll make it through this too!

You’re not alone in this—I’m here for you every step of the way.

If you want to have a 1:1 confidential conversation, click here to book a complimentary session.

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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How Do You Know You Are Heading For Divorce?

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Do you know January was Divorce month?! Solicitors have stated there are more petitions for divorce following the holiday season than at any other time of the year. Playing happy families can take its toll on a relationship that might already be at a breaking point. 

But how do you know things are not correct in your marriage? How do you know you are heading for divorce? If you want to find out more, read on.

I Missed The Signs That Things Were Not Right

Does this sound familiar? You feel like something is wrong in your marriage but can’t pinpoint what? It can be frustrating.

I experienced it first-hand: it didn’t look like the beginning of the end; I just thought I had to work harder at my marriage. But I missed the signs that things were not right. Before I knew it, we were having a conversation about separation and divorce. 

But what were the signs, and how had I missed them? Here are some things I noticed in hindsight.

Divorce Advice: Be Honest With Yourself

We thought we did the right thing and went for marriage guidance sessions.

We sat for several weeks with a gorgeous couple who helped us look at our marriage differently. They said the union would take work, and there would be ups and downs, as you would expect from any relationship.

I thought I heard it but not enough.

I wish someone had sat me down and held me by the shoulders and told me marriage was going to be hard! Get me to look at my expectations about marriage, talk about my expectations about my husband-to-be, about myself as a wife, all of them, even the ones I didn’t want to admit to myself, and have an honest conversation about them. At that point, I may have realised this marriage was not going to work.

Would I have listened to my thoughts of fear and doubt? Probably not, but I wish I had learned to trust my feelings!

Marriage Advice: Listen To Your Feelings

As early as the marriage guidance sessions, there were a few times I had a bad feeling in my stomach and even asked myself if I should marry this man. However, people always put it down to pre-wedding jitters, and so I pushed those feelings of doubt to the back of my mind.
Those feelings happened periodically throughout the marriage, but I rationalised them, reframed the thoughts, put a positive spin on them, and carried them on my way.

When my husband told me he had booked a surprise trip to Paris, it came to a head. After all, I’d always wanted to visit the City, and I had never been with my husband. But at that exact moment, I wasn’t feeling joy or even mild excitement – I was feeling dread. I didn’t say anything at the time. But the feeling was such that I sabotaged the whole trip and made up some excuse for not going.

See, my feelings were always making me aware something was wrong. Instead of looking at the thought and engaging in self-inquiry about the sentiment, I pushed the feeling away. It could have been fear of ending a relationship or lack of courage, whichever it was; I wish I had paid more attention to my senses and recognised the warning it was giving me.

Recognising The End Of A Marriage: Take Heart, Have Courage

There were signs, feelings, and uncertainty I did not explore either of the points above. As I reflect upon it now, I did not do so because I was afraid. Afraid I would have to admit I’d made a mistake, afraid of being single again, tired of the thought of having to go through the whole process of finding someone to love again.

When making decisions from a position of fear, I acted selfishly, needed to meet the needs I believed needed to be met: security, stability, safety.

However, If I had allowed the heart to lead, I would have had the courage to face the feeling of fear. I would have taken an honest look at the thoughts creating feelings of doubt and confusion. Making decisions from a position of love ensures you make a decision right for all involved.

Contemplating Divorce? Speak To An Expert

Sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge the first signs of divorce. It’s hard to admit that you may be at least partly responsible for the breakdown of a marriage. But, in reality, this is the first step to recovery and rediscovering who you are.

And here, perhaps even more than in anything else in life, is where forgiveness and understanding are vital forces. When you find yourselves amid a relationship breakup or divorce, if you can remember to be honest with yourself, listen to your feelings, and allow the heart to lead, you will make the best decisions for all involved at any stage in your life.

If you’d like to speak to someone who understands divorce and knows what early signs of divorce to look for and when, then contact me here.


What does ego death look like?

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The death of the ego could be an interesting experience. It’s important to know what it feels so we recognise it when it happens.

Ego death, in a nutshell, is “to lose control of oneself; one’s conscious awareness (ego) is replaced by the unconscious…This may happen spontaneously, without warning and while one is awake. Ego death often results in a complete loss of a sense of time and self. The subject might also feel that he or she has merged with or become the object of their perception, or that the border between inner thoughts and reality has been dissolved. The experience may be accompanied by feelings of joy, peace, or bliss.” – Wikipedia

I recall being on the beach walking early in the morning. I was listening to the audiobook of The Impersonal Life and looking out to sea as I walked. The sun was shining and it was a perfect morning. I sat down and watched the tide coming in  and witnessed a drop of water on my hand. As I watched the drop of water a fly landed on my hand and started to drink from the water. At that moment I realised I was meant to be in that spot so the fly could drink of the water. I then looked out to the water. I thought I’m also part of the sea and the sand and everything I could see. At that moment I was connected to all things and Janet did not exist. A wave of emotion overcame me as I’ll be going to realise the enormity of what I was and what I was a part of. And in realising that I snapped out of that beautiful moment and came back to being Janet being aware of myself.

What is ego.

Ego is the use of conscious thoughts and behaviour that we use to create our identity. This self centred thinking is what creates separate realities, objects and places. Some  people can have an inflated view of their abilities and believe they are more successful than they actually se. This could be deemed to be an inflated egoEgo is the use of conscious thoughts and behaviour that we use to create our identity. This self centred thinking is what creates separate realities, objects and places. Some  people can have an inflated view of their abilities and believe they are more successful than they actually se. This could be deemed to be an inflated ego

https://youtu.be/FioFsQc-DaY

How is it beneficial

Remember the ego is created based upon previous experiences and different behaviours in order to deal with different situations. As such it gives the illusion of security and control. However, the ego begins to fall apart when old behaviours do not resolve a new situation. A person can then begin to feel insecure as they are not sure what to do in a situation. Id a person persists and insists on continuing to do the same thing over and over again without resolving a situation a person can become frustrated angry and even depressed. 

Death is good.

In this situation, the ego has to die in order for the new situation to be resolved. It may not be an enlightening experience as described above. It could be a moment of frustration and despair to the point you give up because nothing you have tried has worked previously. In This moment,there is space of new thought to emerge as you release the old behaviour patterns, creating space for something new to evolve. As such the old way of doing things and an aspect of the old ego has to fall away to make space for the new person to evolve.

When the eagle falls away you’re able to see the world around you differently and more opportunities present themselves to you. This is because the old way of thinking has fallen away and there is new space for new sort of conscious thought thought in the moment of thought from your spirit to come to the fore.

The more we enter into new situations the more the old ego has to die and we encounter new situations and new experiences.

There can also be a feeling of lightness as the need to protect, the need to achieve and strive starts to fall away.

How to embrace this state of mind.

Although things may seem fearful the fear only exists because the ego is falling away and it’s trying to protect itself but have to remember the ego isn’t something separate the ego is something you created which is part of your personality at a time when you needed to develop strategies and techniques to develop yourself to protect yourself or to achieve certain goals. In understanding in a different space and time there is no need for you to protect yourself.

When there is less ego and striving there is more spirit and soul forming the basis of your decisions.

You learn to go with the flow because even if things don’t work out as planned as things never do you recognise and accept the situation for what it is at that time and act in alignment With the current situation.

As such when you’re either dies you’re able to listen and hear your soul be guided by heart by love you navigate this experience of life. If you want to go deeper into this journey.

If you want to know more click the link below to access a free resource. 

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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Living ego or soul

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Have you ever noticed how your ego and your soul can seem as if they’re all with one another? It’s like they’re constantly fighting for your attention and your time. I admit I’ve been a slave to my ego in the past but then I realised I was missing so many opportunities because my ego was so focused on what I was trying to achieve. I started paying more attention to my son and I learned this ultimate guide to having a fulfilled life.

Approximately five years ago after going through my divorce I knew I had changed and was changing. The number of times I was asked to do things and I would automatically say no, as that was my default position. One day during meditation what came to me was saying yes to God and also listening to Shonda Rhimes and when she had a year of years and so what came to me was 365 days of saying yes to God. I didn’t do the full 365 days but what that one statement did was to open me up to listening more to my wisdom, my soul and making decisions.

The ego is often described as a mind’s tendency to remain stuck in the past and bring it into the future. It can often be said to be a tug of war between the head, logic and what I think is right and the heart, what feels right

The ego can be said to be selfish with no interest in consciousness. The ego is self-centred and believes the world exists around them and for their own ends. In some instances, the egoic personality will not even believe the soul exists. The ego can create the illusion of separation and striving.

The soul on the other hand is more aligned to the spiritual healing demonstrations of love, compassion and goodwill. Connectedness to all that is.

How can you tell if you’re leaving from Spirit or from Ego?

Based on the description given, when you’re living from the ego, it is very self centred, out for what you can get. There can also be a feeling of striving, working hard, willing to do whatever it takes to get the result, which in some instances could mean taking advantage of other people for your own ends.

There is also the need to be right; to constantly correct and show an air of superiority.

When living from spirit, your soul, it feels like living from heart, wanting to view service to others from a place of compassion.

Which is the best place?

There is no one better place as ego and soul play their roles within a multi dimensional human being. There are times when we need to be aware of ourselves as the ego not only wants us to achieve and strive but also plays a role in protecting us. The ego is not the enemy, the ego has been developed over time based on the experiences that you’ve had about things that have hurt us and then you’ve created different strategies to protect ourselves. Once again the ego is a self-created personality and I’ve said in previous blogs because it’s self-created it’s not real and can also be changed.

To only live from the heart and be compassionate without awareness could lead to being taken advantage of and so we need a combination of the two with the soul to inform the ego of what action to take.

So in conclusion

Spirit versus ego can seem to think both of these aspects of our human self are at odds with each other, however, when we understand the roles each plays within our life we understand they work together helping us as humans to navigate this world.

If you want to know more click the link below to access a free resource. 

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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Self-esteem versus self-image

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When did you first learn to compare yourself to others? 

I don’t remember when I first started doing it, but I recall a situation recently when I was on the Facebook page looking at pictures of friends and family, and I saw pictures of women my age. I can’t help but compare myself to them if they look fitter than me or look healthier than me. Not only was I comparing myself, but I was also judging myself!  

The truth is, comparing yourself to others is not a bad thing; it’s natural, but what’s not natural is how we sometimes measure our self-worth by this comparison. e.g., am I good enough, am I worthy because I am not like…. The way we measure our self-worth should not be in contrast to others.

The difference between self-esteem and self-image

Comparison! Whether that is a comparison of where we are and where we want to be or comparing ourselves to another person, this can directly impact our thoughts and feelings.

I said comparison previously is not a bad thing; however, when comparison leads to judgement, this could lead to low self-esteem. This is when comparison becomes unhealthy. 

What do we base our self-esteem and self-image on?

Comparison! Whether that is a comparison of where we are and where we want to be or comparing ourselves to another person, this can directly impact our thoughts and feelings.

I said comparison previously is not a bad thing; however, when comparison leads to judgement, this could lead to low self-esteem. This is when comparison becomes unhealthy. 

How to stop comparisonitis

  1. Realise your self-image and self-esteem as a construct. It is a construct because image and esteem are based on the thinking we believe to be true about ourselves. In a previous video, I have spoken about personal reality versus universal reality. How we see ourselves and think about ourselves is based upon the thinking we believe to be true.

    But all of these things are our thoughts and views. They are not universal truths. When I speak universal truths, everybody looking at something experiences it precisely the same way, e.g.gravity. In recognising self-esteem self-worth as personal constructs, we then can start to question the truth and validity of those thoughts we haven’t believed to be accurate.
  2. Return to source.
    When we realise and recognise that our true nature is spiritual, our self-image and self-esteem take a back seat as we allow our innate wisdom to take the lead. When you come from the outside perspective, you place greater importance on your self-image and self-esteem. When you start from a place of truth in your true essence, you can still have the thoughts of image and esteem body doesn’t hold the meaning and emotional tension for you.
  3. Self-esteem and self-image are all an illusion.
    We create our self-esteem and self-image through comparison because this is where society would have you look at the outside and the only way to improve outside is to do or buy more. But when you recognise you are enough, you can realise that you are a phenomenal spiritual being having a human experience. You see the thought for what it is an illusion that has no power over you but for the power you give it.

In conclusion

So in looking at self-esteem and self-image, they are different and yet have a direct impact upon each other, however, none of that is essential when you look to the actual source and your true nature.

If you would like to know more and explore further to rediscover your true identity and click the link below

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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How realistic is self image?.

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Humans are perfect in their imperfection!

There is no such thing as a perfect human being. We have our thought created reality, we make mistakes, and things don’t turn out the way we want. However, when we start to compare our self-image to one we think is perfect, this can directly impact our self-worth and self-image.

I remember being 16 and wanting to be like the popular girls in school. They were tall, slim with long flowing hair. As one of a handful of black girls in the school, this was going to be impossible. However it did not stop me from wanting to look like them, and be like them. This led to a period of restrictive eating and over doing exercise in a bid to look as slim as them. Also having a perm on my head to give a softer look to my afro hair. With few black role models in the media, my peers were my role models and what they said or thought about me felt very important and as such shaped how I saw myself and had a direct impact on the decisions I made and the actions I took.

The trouble is we’ve been conditioned to base our self-image on what others think of us to be. So the clothes we wear, our social circle, job even the hobbies we have could be contributing factors to that self-image. Very much based upon what others see.

What if we based our self-image and self-worth on our authenticity and how we treat others and take care of others? Just a thought!!!

What is self-image?

In previous videos, we have spoken in-depth about what is self-image and what is self-esteem but a brief overview is;

self-image is how you see yourself, describe yourself to somebody else, and self-esteem is how you think about yourself, positively or negatively.

How is our self-image developed? 

Self-image can be based upon our physical attributes; eye colour, weight. The social roles we play, student, wife,member of the team can also be contributing factors. Even personal traits, impulsive and generous can be added to the image created.

As time passes, some people become more reliant upon others to define us. This is not a conscious choice in many cases, but we infer from what a person says. For example, if we receive a compliment about a particular outfit, this may influence how you dress to get more compliments.

But how realistic is self-image?

In a previous blog called The Matrix, the thinking we believe to be true creates self-image. So the example of someone paying a compliment may be internalised and directly impacts how a person dresses. If that person continues to believe what others say, your image becomes determined by others. Therefore it can be as changeable with the seasons.


Or if we return to my 16-year-old self, what I saw in others and what others said to me determined what I wore and how I acted. Now others could have been friends or the media, the sources could have been numerous. But as the name indicates, ’image’, is a picture, a representation of the external form of a person or thing in art. The representation is not the whole picture.

Your identity.

This is what is beneath the image. Unlike the image, which is seen on the outside, identity is who you truly are. Not what you believe yourself to be, but more profound than that; your true essence. This essence is spiritual, formless, never changing. Some call it your soul. 

Some of the attributes associated with true identity are love and compassion.

If your soul determined your self-image, then your image would not be superficial or transient, changing with the latest trend. Instead, your image would be a reflection of who you truly are, the love you are..

Conclusion

Therefore, in conclusion, your image is just a representation, but is it a representation of the opinions of others or is it a reflection of your soul?

Do you want to begin to rediscover your true identity? Click the link below.

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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The number one secret no one tells you about self-esteem

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You know when you’re feeling down and think I’m not good enough or I’ll never succeed and then you start to feel angry or sad or frustrated? That’s low self-esteem. It’s something that affects many people but did you know there is a secret overcoming low self-esteem and self doubt. That’s what this video is about.

My name is Janet Rhynie, Quantum Change Coah, here to Educe , Elevate and Liberate you mind to live a ife you have yet to imagine.

I remember when I was leaving the probation service to set up my own company. At that point all I’ve ever known is working in the public sector but I had a passion and a heart to deliver training on my own terms. I have been a training facilitator for the past five years working with clients and customers who didn’t want to be in my presence. As such I learnt such fundamental skills as establishing rapport how to move a group forward but also what works within groups and what didn’t and so the passion to develop people utilising the experience and expertise I had gained is pulling my heart.

I remember thinking about setting up by myself and then the thoughts that came in where well will I get any contracts because I’m a black woman and the only trainers I’ve ever really seen a white males a few white females maybe the odd black male I’ve never seen a black female trainer within criminal justice and then I started to think well what if I’m not good enough compare to these other facilitator in trainers will I get work how will I pay the bills if I don’t get work and this whole spiral of negative self talk caused me to doubt the plans and the future I had for myself.

But then I thought about the alternative which was to stay within an organisation doing something I absolutely hate it for the rest of my life I then looked at the fact the organisation had asked me to deliver training on their behalf as well as balancing a managerial post. And realised the fun I had when delivering training and focusing on developing in equipping people to live a better life cause me to take a 180° turn which has resulted in me having my business for the last 1516 years.

Why is it so hard to believe we are good enough?

 

Want to learn how to be free from the control of fear? Click the link to download a free video series.


MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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When the mind is without fear

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What would it be like to have a mind without fear? Is such a thing possible. Well let find out in this video.

My name is Janet Rhynie and I am here to Educe, Elevate and Liberate your mind to live a life yet to be imagined.

When the mind is without fear, the body meets no resistance, no  confusion, the world is clear and simple. We experience more peace and the world seems more silent is silent and still. and the truth remains.

What is the mind?

Many people use the word mind and brain interchangeably but they are two different things. 

The brain is the physical matter. An organ of soft nervous tissue containing the school vertebrae is functioning as the coordinating Centre of sensation and intellectual and nervous activity.

The mind could be said to be the energy that runs the brain, the energy behind your life that is thoughts and lights of the brain when in motion.

It is the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world of their experiences, to think and to feel is the faculty of consciousness and thought.

The power of the mind. 

The mind is so great that can create the world of its own desire. Remember in the previous paragraph when we stated it was a faculty of consciousness, and thought. These two principles enable us to create our experience by the thinking we believe to be true moment by moment. 

This is the power of the mind. We are creating our own personal experience moment by moment and most of us are not even aware this is what we are doing and as such it looks like a reality is something that external to ask in essence it’s internal.

In one of my previous blogs regarding the matrix and in the states about no they self. When you understand and know how powerful the mind ease how powerful you are and how you’re creating experiences moment by moment your world experience changes.

How do you get a mind without fear?. 

Well this seems to be a trick question because the mind has no fear. Remember mind is energy it’s the power behind thought,  the power behind consciousness and as such the mind does not have fear. Fear is created from the thinking we believe to be true. And so the real question is how to be free of fear ? Freedom from fear comes with understanding of how you’re creating your experience moment by moment. 

With reference to the blog what is quantum change coaching here we recognise and understand starting from a position of mind, the powerhouse we are reminded how powerful we are as mind, how we create our experience moment by moment by thought and the paradigm by which we create our experience moment by moment.

As such we understand and experience what it is to be free of fear and being in a state where we allow mind to flow freely without the constraints of limited beliefs and negative thoughts.

 

Conclusion

 

So a starting point is when the mind is without fear the conclusion is the mind is always without fear but for the thinking we believe to be true that masks the power of mind in Leeds is to leave leave lives based upon for years.

 

When we understand our true nature as mind,   the power of Mind and how we create experience moment by moment we begin to see a glimpse of what life is like living from a place of mind.

Want to learn how to be free from the control of fear? Click the link to download a free video series.

MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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What does it mean to be Free From Fear?

posted in: Every day wisdom | 0

Fear is a feeling that is common to all human beings. It’s a natural reaction to the unknown in the imagined, and it can be an instinctual response to danger. We use the phrase ‘fear of’ to describe an emotion often associated with a particular thing or situation. E.g. fear of flying, fear of spiders. What does it mean to be free from fear? That’s not a simple answer. It often means overcoming the fear of the unknown, the fear of what might happen, the fear of the past or the fear of what others may think.

What is Fear? 

Do you remember the last time you felt fear? Were you being chased, in a fight or was it the fear of trying something new and failing? I do! Recently when I decided to become more visible on social media and create blogs, consistently for the first time in years!

Why? Because I was anxious about being judged, what others may think of me. Sure! I have been in the personal development field for decades and I know most of the theories. However, that instictual reaction can still make it’s presence known.

Fear is an instinctual reaction to the unknown. It causes your adrenaline levels to rise. This increases the heart rate and makes your brain frantically search for the what-ifs.

So the feeling of fear is completely natural as it is a response to the unknown.

How do you overcome the fear of the unknown?

Ask Different Questions.

Not the type of questions that will take you down the rabbit hole of further fear. E.g This will not work? What will people think? If this does not work I am a failure?

Instead ask questions that will cause you to explore the situation form a different persepctive:

  • What do I know about the situation?

  • What’s at stake here?

  • What is the worst that can happen?

  • What if I’m wrong?

  • What if I’m right?

  • What’s the worst that can happen if I’m right?

 Focus on the solution

Focusing on the solution can relieve some of the feelings of fear.
Frequently we are focused on everything that can go wrong within this situation. That’s what creates fear instead of focusing on what could go right and what could work. Yes, it’s healthy to look at the obstacles, but if all you are looking at is the obstacles, you will constantly be battling against what you have created in your head.

Listening to the reason for being afraid.

When you truly begin to listen to what you are saying to yourself, hearing from an objective place instead of subjective, you begin to see things from a different perspective.
When I started to listen to the reasons for my fear of being more visible, I had to weigh it against the reason for wanting to be more visible. My mission and passion to draw out the briliance in people to live a life they have yet to imaging beat the thoughts and feelings of fear I was experiencing. As such, I gained greater clarity about the situation and why I was having fearful thoughts.

What Does it Mean to be Free from Fear?

That’s not an easy answer. As we have seen, fear is natural, instinctive and plays a role within our lives to protect us. So the issue is not to be free of fear but more be mindful your life is not governed by fear!

It can be rewarding to look at the freedom you’ve gained because the fear was no longer holding you back from the life you want to live. Also, with freedom comes responsibility because now you know where your fear comes from, so now you have more agency and responsibility for your own life.

Want to learn how to be free from the control of fear? Click the link to download a free video series.


MY NAME IS…

Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.

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