Is your self talk holding you back?

posted in: Every day wisdom | 0

Often time do you want to try something new or do something you because we are tired of her old life. However, what prevents us from moving forward is our very own selves. In this Everyday Wisdom I share how I move beyond my own self talk to have a different experience.

I did something new

I did something different, I did something new. And there are so many books that I have read over the years, which tell you to,  go beyond your boundaries, out of your comfort zone, all of that good stuff. And sometimes you can think it’s about achieving something in work or achieving something personal, but it can be something really, really simple whatever that is.

Going to barbers

So for me, it was actually going to a barber. Now, you know, I have short hair and only keep the sides short when I needed to get a trim. It was on a Monday, which is my non-working contract day. And I thought I need to go to the hairdresser to get the sides trimmed because I want to start doing some more videos. My regular hairdresser is a good hour away.

On this occasion, though there’s a barber with some I think Eastern European guys run it at the bottom of my road where I leave. And I’m like,” I  should try them out. So first of all, I’m gonna go down there because it’s just down the road. It’s so much easier but supposing there are men in there?’ It’s barbers, more than likely, but it was Monday afternoon at 12 o’clock. So the odds were that there would have been fewer men around.

So unless you know you know how things can go you start to talk yourself out of something or I don’t want to go now let me wait to get to my hairdressers!!. What’s the worst that can happen? And that’s always my go-to what’s the worst that can happen? You know, if they mess up the sides, it’ll grow back again in a couple of weeks time just got but you know what happens? You think about who’s going to be in there, what they’re going to think about you and we’re in a predominantly white area so they probably haven’t seen a black person going to their hairdressers to have their hair…., all of this kind of thinking.

And we’ve been there before we talk ourselves out some things I need to get my hair done. I’m going!!! I go into the hairdressers or the barbers. And there are two people in there already. Two men having their hair done. And the guys looked at me. Yes? ‘Can you just take my sides down?’, I ask And it was fine, absolutely fine. What was the most frightening part?

Is your self talk holding you back

My own self talk, trying to talk myself out of it? What if…. what might happen… then all of these things that never happened. In fact it was a positive experience, he had an opportunity to practice, you know, the texture of my hair, ask questions, it was great. So again, it’s just about trying something different. Even we do the smallest things that are different. We create new neural pathways, which means that we start to change and start to grow and have greater awareness and understanding of ourselves.

And also challenge ourselves about what is possible and what we can do. So yes, that’s my challenge for you. What have you done that’s been different this week?, coming out of your comfort zone, however small it is, whether it’s travelling in a different way to work, or because I do that with ways all the time, it takes different places or just a different hairstyle. Anyway, I love you loads and I will speak with you soon.

I would love to hear what you do in order to love yourself and how that shows up for you. How it changes your life. Please leave a comment below.


Janet Rhynie

My purpose is to elevate and liberate your mind from limitation to live the life you have yet to imagine and change the life of those for generations to come.


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